Each day, an influencer is getting canceled somewhere for something they tweeted or said ten years ago. Generally, the chances of us coming across something that offends us is so much more now than it used to be. It is unlikely that that would decrease anytime soon, so it is better to learn how to avoid being offended and develop thicker skin.
Why do people get offended?
The cause of someone getting offended can vary. One of the more common causes is their interpretation of the comment or scenario. So, a compliment like ‘you look like Angeline Jolie’ can be interpreted as a sarcastic way to say that ‘you look old’ by someone. Although you meant that the person looks pretty, the person’s interpretation of the comment may offend them.
Another simple explanation for people getting easily offended can be because they are insecure. Lack of confidence can turn any comment or compliment into a snide remark. Others are wired differently, meaning that they are just more sensitive and hence take offense easily. It is also possible for some to react easily and be offended because the comment triggers a trauma for them.
How to avoid being offended?
If you have ever been in a situation where you felt offended by someone’s comments but knew that the comment wasn’t worth getting offended, this article is for you. I also struggle with taking things personally and getting offended sometimes.
1. Try to see things from their perspective
So, what can we do to stop getting offended easily? Whenever I get offended, I try to see things from the person’s perspective. So, if that person said that they didn’t like food I just said I LOVED, they might have a bad memory attached to it. Maybe they got food poisoning the last time they ate it so they cannot stand it now. It is a good idea to politely ask follow-up questions before deciding that their comment was offensive.
2. Remove personal attachment
Sometimes, we get offended because we assume that the comment made was for us, when it could just have been a simple observation on their part. Understanding that the comment was not made towards you can help remove a lot of the offense from it and hence help us understand how to avoid getting offended easily.
3. Entitlement to opinion
Just like you feel that someone’s comment may be offensive and wrong, they may feel that it is the right and not offensive. You are entitled to your opinion and they are entitled to theirs, even if it is not a nice comment or observation. In such scenarios, it can help to give yourself a pep talk and not let their comments offend you. A study also showed that self-compassion and empathy led to happiness.
4. Develop a thick skin
This is different from learning how to develop a thick skin in medical terms. Although that may not be possible, it is possible to develop a mentally thicker skin so things don’t offend you the same way. If you are someone who feels easily uncomfortable, gets upset over small things, or find it difficult to not take jokes personally, then it will be a good idea to develop a thick skin.
The suggestions I mentioned are incredibly helpful. They have helped me become a lot less sensitive and I find that I can enjoy a lot of the jokes I could not earlier. While being compassionate and empathic is crucial to existing, developing a thick skin is also essential if you want to get along with people.
a) What is so funny?
If you are with someone who is being sly and playfully insulting someone or something, ask them what is so funny? The question in itself will take them by surprise. If they try to explain the joke to you, simply shrug your shoulders and say I don’t see what’s funny in that. This is a great way to confront someone about their comments.
b) Offend them back
If someone is cracking jokes at your expense, people generally recommend taking a stand for yourself. I agree with that, but sometimes the surrounding is such that you might not want to take that route. In such a case, it almost always works to crack some jokes at them. I know some might not agree with this approach, but I have found that it is the best way to shut someone up.
It is also a great way to know if someone is trying to insult you or you are reading too much into it. If they laugh along, they probably did not mean to insult you, but if they get offended and shut up, then it is a great way to silently tell them to shut up.
c) It is not just about you
Having the I, me, myself mentally makes you fertile for getting easily offended. This way, anything that is said and done can be taken personally. Analyzing all the actions and comments is exhausting and makes you irritable. Understanding that someone’s views are not directed towards you can be liberating. It will help comments just slide off of you without offending you.
d) Reserve your judgment
If you are in the middle of a conversation where a comment bothered you, reserve your judgment. Tell yourself that you will think about it later. Complete the conversation and move on. Later, you may find that the comment was in a completely different context and that you misunderstood it. Doing this helps avoid unnecessary and possibly embarrassing confrontations or conversations. It is also a great way to learn how to not care about other’s opinions.
In today’s world, there are too many things going on. So many people are trying to find themselves and fit in that the chances of offensive comments are so much more. While confrontation and confidence go a long way, the tips and strategies I mentioned above will help one learn how to avoid being offended. At the end of the day, you will have better mental health than you did when things got to you easily.
